For the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about what I want vs what I need and what I’m willing to do to achieve it. The truth is a lot of the time I feel like a complete failure, a fraud. There are two voices guiding me and too often I listen to the naysayer. I’ve written a novel – ‘who do you think you are, that’s a load of bullshit not a novel.’ I want to start a health wellness & travel website based on the area I live in. Health, you healthy? Look at the unhealthy decisions you’ve made in the past. What makes you such an expert? A new job that pays better. Who’s going to want to hire you? You don’t deserve that much money!
Need I go on?
Even here, writing for MMGR, I go through phases of confidence and squirming with embarrassment wondering what ever happened to the courageous girl I used to be. Heavens I’m 31, I shouldn’t care what others are going to think. I should give a toss about people that play no important role in my life. The only people I should be worried about are those I choose to surround myself with, my husband and son, my family, my friends, my colleagues maybe.
The truth is that there is always going to be someone who tries to bring you down. There is always going to be a naysayer, a critic who didn’t like your blog post because it was grammatically incorrect, or you got a fact wrong, or they disagree with your point of view, or they don’t like your name. Pleasing everyone is impossible.
Rejection is a part of life. Deal with it. Move on. Judgement is a part of life. Deal with it. Move on. Life is your biggest exam. Deal with it. Move on.
The state of the current education system worries me. It seems that grading students is stressful. Well sorry to burst the pretty little bubble you live in but life is stressful. People judge. People hate. They reject you because they don’t like the way you smile. They will test your patience, your will, your strength, and your integrity. You might fall a few times but you learn and you deal with it and you move on.
I was going through old report cards of mine whilst searching for old Disney books that I want to read to my son as he grows. He’s six months so I figure it’s the perfect time to start the bedtime stories. He loves pictures. He loves listening to his parents voices. Anyway, I started reading an end of year report from grade 4. This was still a time when teachers wrote report cards by hand for every subject. It wasn’t just a pass or fail or some other grading system. There were comments, long paragraphs for each subject about your efforts, your abilities, your progress.
…you need to stop being so hard on yourself.
Even as a ten year old, I was my own worst self critic. Apparently, I was so hard on myself that a teacher noticed.
So what does all this have to do with money?
Every time I set a goal I bring myself down before I can even test its success. I wrote a novel. Why aren’t I publishing it? I’m scared people are going to hate it. What if they love it? Then I can sell it. So do it. But what if they… stop right there.
What if? What if? We can’t control every scenario. Sometimes we have to let go and let things happen. That’s when luck happens. We put in the hard work, the sweat, the tears, the late nights. We let it out into the world. Then magic happens. Some say you get lucky. Some say you get rewarded for the hard work.
Success doesn’t happen over night. Unless you win the Powerball of course. Success is a process. But how in the world are you supposed to become successful when you won’t let yourself pass your first road block that is you?
Have you ever been too hard on yourself? Squashed your dreams before they had any hope of becoming real? How did you change your thinking?